yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Randomize
