i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
