We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
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