Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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