I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
