For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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