I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I'm like, not good at living.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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