I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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