You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
