sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
