i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Drake has all the answers
Randomize
