can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
