They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
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