I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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