I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize