Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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