Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
i barfeds in our rink
P.S. I can't hear my feet
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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