My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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