her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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