You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
