After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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