dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
