do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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