I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
