Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
