We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
