drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
