32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Randomize
