let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
