I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
