You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
