Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Help me help you realize you are a moron
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
