i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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