id be glad to
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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