what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
