Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
