Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
