in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize