don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Randomize
