dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
