If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
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