We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Operation Purity has been aborted
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
