Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
