Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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