We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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