I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
