Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
