We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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