He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
