If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
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