the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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