Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
We need to get me chipped asap
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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