Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
