You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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