We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
