I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
