Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
