Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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