i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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