The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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