I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
