You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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