I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
