It's Friday. Sex?
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize