remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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