who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
